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Here is the corollary version:....
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>When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
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>When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided
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>I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
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>In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
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>Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and
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>threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
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>When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
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>totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
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>dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
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>When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
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>She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
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>mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me
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>miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very
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>energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some
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>ambition.
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>When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
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>firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she
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>divorced me and took everything I owned.
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>I am now 40 and am looking for a girl with very big tits.